He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
