I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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