Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Please don't give away my fajitas
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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