I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
