We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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