he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
