Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
