I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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