Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
