There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's blow job season.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
