is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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