why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
