let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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