somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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