is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
