yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.