So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize