So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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