Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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