Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You are the jesus of drinking
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
