She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
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Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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