We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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