Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
