i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
