I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
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Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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