Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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