I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
