then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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