Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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