my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
