Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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