so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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