my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
