girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize