As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just pynch a tree in the face
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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