she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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