Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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