He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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