I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
