Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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