If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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