i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
