I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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