I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
