Ambien. No doubt about it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
