And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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