i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
