she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
