OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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