I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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