I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
