But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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